Tidal Wave, BOTC Season 2 Starts, Compass 3

So a lot has happened since i've last blogged. Why the hell I can't keep up with this is dumb, and I am trying to fix that. We went to Tidal Wave/Gay Days at Disney in Orlando, stayed at the host hotel "Royal Plaza" which was very nice. The event itself was very nice, saw a lot of friends from online and met some new ones. Filmed quite a bit for Bears On The Coast at the event so I don't want to give away some of what you will see in that episode. Unfortunately, as I have recently learned from Michael, we both got home feeling sick and now we both have a cold. This was probably brought on by something at the event possibly in the pool, or elsewhere. Even possible to have picked it up at Disney as children wipe their nose and then touch everything. So we are hoping to get better by this weekend, I am feeling a bit better as my nose as cleared up, still have a bit of a cough but slowly getting better. We are considering going to Sawmill this Saturday for their Bear Weekend. And on Sunday we are going to visit Richard & Robert so I can return their CD/DVD drive we borrowed for the weekend. So we should have a good weekend as long as we are both well before Friday.

I've finally started editing Bears On The Coast Season 2, i've finished Episode 17 (Part 1) already and need to do Part 2 & 3 next. I will probably try to get those done before this weekend hits. I love the new intro i've created for the show and I am glad we have been receiving positive feedback from it. Some criticism has been made over the length of the intro as it clocks in at two minutes and twenty six seconds. This counts the episode name and number. I believe its the correct length as it showcases our reoccuring cast members that have been supportive of the show. I felt it was only fair to feature them as they don't get paid to do this and this is my way of thanking them for their support. If you feel the intro is too long and you don't approve then just fast forward. The show is an hour show so if you really feel that upset you lost two minutes and twenty six seconds then sorry but this is just how it is.

While working on music for Season 2 of Bears On The Coast I started to experiment with House/Trance music. In doing this I felt it would be better to ask for assistance from any artists willing to help. I have gained two awesome talents, those being Steven (DJ Bearish) & Eric (DJ Airrick). So far the process has lead me to compose a total of 13 tracks on my own. I am currently taking a break as to let Steven and Eric catch up and compose new works if they choose. So far Steven has contributed a track he composed which I think sounds great. If you watch Season 2 of Bears On The Coast you will find the tracks popping up all over the place. The opening theme titled "Ghost" was the first track created for the project and is one of my favorites. I have shown the material to some of my friends and have received a great reaction from it. Some are great to hear i'm doing more accessible and more mainstream work. And more importantly more upbeat music. I've been told the music I create is depressing and sad because of the content of what i'm singing and the music runs with that theme. A lot of my past material which has yet to be released is all based on times long past in which i've had something i've dealed with. I think happy and sad music is essential, you can't have one without the other. Life has its ups and downs, and my music is the same. I am glad I could prove to people that not everything I create is sad and depressing. Some of it can make you dance and want to just have a good time and party. I'm glad I can create something different.

Thoughts On Black Swan & Misconceptions

I just finished watching Black Swan. I have to say that film is pretty fantastic, all the way to the end you are left feeling out of place and distraught. By the end of the film it doesn't give you an answer of what exactly happened, but more of a fill in the blanks with what you think happened. I personally think that Natalie Portman's character was mentally ill, she was suffering from many delusions that got worse and worse to the point of her ultimately endangering herself. It actually is kind of sad when you think about it. As a person who suffers with mental illness, its sad to see a movie like this about a person who just wanted to be the best she could be and ultimately its her illness that kills her. After seeing the film I think its great but its left a somewhat weird taste in my mouth. Maybe something about the film hit to close to home for me but I still recommend people to go see it as its a great film and was beautifully well done.

Also I must point out that some people who can't comprehend the film because of the "girl humping the floor" scenes and "all she does is get down on herself so that makes this a bad film" is bullshit. Those people have the mental capacity to watching Michael Bay films about dirty language and explosions. That's about it. Black Swan is for people who are MATURE and understand what mental illness is. To judge it as a film about "a girl who masturbates a lot and get upset" is pure horse shit. If you have the mental capacity to handle that then by all means watch this movie, and if you don't, go watch 2012, because that film was all about nonsense and unnecessary action sequences that never end. I'm sure you'll be watching it with someone as scary and bitchy as this girl...

Growing Pains

How can you laugh when someone doesn't understands your humor but expects you to find their humor amusing? How can you feel good about yourself when everything that makes you who you are annoys someone but you are expected to be tolerant of everyone else? How is it possible to not feel less than someone else when what makes you who you are is being criticized?

I try everyday to respect everyone's differences, I know I won't be able to get along with everyone. I don't ask that you understand everything about me, what I do ask is to just be tolerant of who I am. The last thing I need to feel is like a small infant who needs guidance because he's immature and no like everyone else. I don't expect others to deal with my problems, so don't expect me to deal with yours. If you can't handle my baggage what makes you think I can handle yours? I may have a jaded sense of the world but in the end I believe a better tomorrow does exist and that things will eventually work out because if I didn't then why would I be making an effort to make a better future for myself? The last thing I want to do with this entry is to start drama because i'm just stating how i'm feeling inside. And to some people stating how I feel inside to them means I am overreacting. But in reality I am just reflecting, that is the whole point of this blog. A way to reflect on the past and see it for what it is, a point of growth. I am human, I make mistakes and I am always learning and always growing.

Bears On The Coast & Void Of Axis Nominated & Bears On The Coast Season 2 Trailers...

We have been nominated for two awards for the Bearlebrity Awards. The first being Bears On The Coast for Best Bear Videocast, and the second being Void Of Axis for Best Bear Audio/Podcast. If you would like to vote please visit this link below:

http://www.thebearlebrity.com/the-bearlebrity-awards/

Also we released our first in a series of trailers that will be released each month leading up to our new season of Bears On The Coast which is set to be released in August. Here is the trailer:

Everyone Has Issues, Snapple Party, The Starving Artist

Hey everyone. Sorry for the long pauses between posts. Things have just been very hard here lately. Not only in my life but in the life of others I know and love. I want to help those in need who are in my life but i've realized I can do that. I need to work on my own life first, and so far I have nothing yet going with that. Still no job yet but I am seriously putting in the effort for the weeks coming up. I've already put up my newly reworked resume, thanks to my boyfriend Adam, on CareerBuilder and Monster.com. So far though i've gotten nothing but Telemarketer positions which are just not good. I won't make any money doing that shit. I will be applying for a few places online and hopefully they will get back to me. I also want to stop by a few local shops and see if they are hiring anyone.

Other than the problems in my life and in my close friends lives, things are alright. I have been working on filming the second season of Bears On The Coast. In the meantime I have been working with Michael on our first live stream over the internet. We are having a "Snapple Party/Bears On The Coast Marathon" on May 7th. Its based on the idea we created on the first episode of Bears On The Coast. At this party we will be discussing episodes the fans have chosen for us to talk about and we will be drinking snapple and just having a good time. We have even got a special surprise for our fans which i'm sure will make them laugh. We will be having the Bears On The Coast Snapple Party live at May 7th at 3pm. The link to the page where it will be held live is located below:

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/bears-on-the-coast-live-snapple-party

I'm very worried about my first album. I've only managed to sell about 3 copies of the record, i've been doing my hardest to advertise but i'm not a record label. I am a person who doesn't have much skill in that area. I'm hoping my new roommate who will be joining me and Michael can help me advertise this record better. I've also been hoping to get some support from some of my family and friends. But it seems I haven't got such luck since the three people who bought the record notified me of their purchases which is okay. I know not everyone will enjoy my music but out of 334 friends only 3 people decide to support me? I guess this is the life of an artist, I will just have to try harder with my next releases. I don't do pop music, I just create whatever I feel like creating. This is also my first album so maybe its just not what people want to hear which is understandable. I am hoping I get more support before I move on to my next project under Void Of Axis.

To Be Or Not To BB?

So lately I've notice more and more guys are getting back in to "barebacking". For some of you who don't know what that is, its playing unprotected without a condom. I will admit that I myself enjoy doing this but at a price. I will ONLY do this with people I trust and those close to me such as my boyfriend. But some of the guys I meet don't ask me what my status is, don't ask me if I am clean of any diseases, and instead jump head first in to BB without taking precautions for themselves. I'm wondering if its because guys feel that "well if I get something its not a death sentence" which I feel is the wrong attitude to have. Many diseases we have today are treatable but on the same note, that doesn't justify the need to spread it so carelessly. It is up to the person to make this choice for themselves but also be aware of the risk. I have seen friends who go to sex parties, end up getting in group sex, and then pretty much let themselves go and later on freaking out about how they made a mistake. Its not disrespectful to wear a condom, if you aren't sure or just feel pressured to not wear a condom then maybe that person is not the best person to be doing that with. Their are plenty of guys out there who don't care about you and are willing to easily pass it to you to just simply "get off". People need to be responsible for their actions. This by no means makes everyone a bad person, some people truly just end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. I just advice that people be a little more aware. We are all fighting to make this world a better place and without judgement and the last thing I want you to think is I'm judging you.

Taxes From Hell, Bears On The Coast Season Finale, Forest Of Memories Vol. 1 Release Date, Last Transmission Announcement, & My Special Honey Bear...

Sorry for not updating sooner, i've been kinda busy between finishing Episode 13 for Bears On The Coast, and getting my first album "Forest Of Memories Vol. 1" released. But I will try to be more up to date with this blog, just a lot going on right now.

So today I called Fountain House to let them know i'll be contacting the IRS because for the last three months i've tried to request my W2 forms from them with no success and legally they can't keep them from me. So I informed them today that I will be contacting he IRS and hopefully they can get my W2's so I can do my taxes. Other than that i've stalled looking for a job as my resume is pretty sad and I needed to fix it up. A few friends have helped me with rewriting it and even making a cover letter for me. Thank you to everyone who has helped me so far. I hope to find something soon. I'm really tired of not having any money and not being able to do anything or support myself. Tomorrow Michael is gonna help me get new shoes because my current shoes are so worn out that they are literally falling apart inside. So tomorrow i'll be doing that and I also want to start working on cleaning up the house.

Bears On The Coast Season 1 has come to an end with Episode 13. Parts 1 & 2 have been uploaded so far with a 3rd and final part coming soon. A second Season is in the works but will not show up for some time. I will be taking time though to film but instead I will be taking my time with Season 2. I would like to actually have a schedule when videos would come out and such so its not like everyone is waiting for an episode i'm rushing to complete. Season 2 will be more relaxed and planned out, so if you would like to be a part of it please contact me via my Facebook page or my e-mail. Also my first album "Forest Of Memories Vol. 1" will be released March 29th. I am very excited, I hope people will like the record and enjoy it. I am considering making a second video for the record, haven't decided the song I will be doing a video to but I am going to try and make it before the album is released. In the background of all this news I am also working slowly on designing a video game titled "Last Transmission", I put out some special Beta pictures of the project thus far.

In nine days I have a very special Bear coming to visit me, me and him have been talking for the past month and getting very close. I am very excited but nervous as well. I guess its only normal that I would be nervous, I just want things to work. And I like him a lot. He will be here for a week, he is from Atlanta, Georgia. He's been very sweet and helpful in helping me try to get a job and helping me with my resume and such. I look forward to seeing him soon.