Gays Hating Gays (Sex vs Friendship)

What happens when you are hurt by something over and over again? It becomes ingrained in your mind to avoid what has hurt you of course. Lets take the Gay Community for example as whats hurt you over and over again. These people will avoid events, social gatherings, and anything involving Gay people in general. I will admit I have been down this road before and I myself once felt this way. As someone who has come to a more peaceful place in his life, I will try to explain what causes these feelings, what happens to these people, and what can be done to change future generations to deal with these same issues from my own experience and my opinion of what might be the issue here.

The Cause:

I'm sorry Boys, but their are some guys out there who don't want to have sex. We respect that you have sex, we understand you have it but it seems more and more these days with the level of sexual imagery in ads for Gay Events, Businesses, Social Gatherings, it can be seen as become less about meeting new people and making friends and more about hooking up and getting laid. As Humans, we are fascinated by Sex but when you go to these events it can easily be seen as giant "Fuck Fest". I was told once that these events are what men at the end of a long week or day who just want to unwind and relax want to do. That is fine if you want to have sex. But not all of us want to do this and those who are turned off by that won't go to events like those but now the problem is where do we go? If you look at it from out perspective from someone who isn't open sexually and just wants to meet friends, if you go to a bunch of events where you are treated like meat and being pushed in to things you don't want to do sexually, don't you think you would feel the same way? Honestly, if you are too blind to notice the Gay magazines with nothing but half naked guys and ads for lube and poppers then you need to take another look.

The Aftermath:

After years and years of feeling out of places at these events and being treated like a sex toy, eventually they point the finger at everyone because honestly, in a sense they are right. It seems we have no issues with the way we treat other men, but we feel its disgusting how women get treated by men. Well its the same thing we do here, it just comes off as the vast majority enjoys to be treated that way. But theirs another majority that are majorly turned off by this and feel its the whole community to blame so it builds up over years. You hate seeing Gay People, you hate seeing Gay events, you hate anything related to be Gay. It ruins the perspective of the Gay Community for them and they avoid it.

The Answer:

What I believe would help with this is we need to have events that for people who just want to meet other people, just as friends or a way of just meeting new people in a non sexual way. We need to seperate the events from sexual themed ones to non sexual themed ones because not everyone wants to see the hot tub full of naked guys, the magazines with lube and popper ads, the "social gatherings" which start out as a Pot Luck and then turns in to an Orgy after everyone has finished eating. I think that if we were more considerate of those people then things would be better in this "community". I think its wrong to say these people are prudes or judgemental, these people including myself aren't judging you for what you do in your personal lives. If thats how you want to be then more power to you, but we shouldn't be told that we are wrong for feeling this way or even worse, told that we need to learn that this is the way things are. Its not, and the more people use that excuse, the more people will fall for it and our community will grow in to a much BIGGER "Fuck Fest" and we don't want a community of people who can't tell the difference between Love and Lust. We want a diverse community that understands that sex has a place, just like friendship does and some people want to just find a connection with someone else without sex involved. Lets work on this.