Handing in my Bear Card

So I want to get this off my chest, I have never felt part of the Bear "Community" ever, and today I am making it clear that I don't wish to be part of the Bears because honestly I have never felt welcome by their "inclusive" community. I have been told that I am not big enough, not hairy enough, not butch enough...Hell I even got called a Twink once and not sure if you've looked at me but I ain't a fucking Twink. I haven't been for a very long time now. 

I always thought the Bear Community was suppose to be a place for those shunned by the other communities--those being the Muscle and Twink Communities, which seem to be the face of being gay, and if you don't fit in those two, gay men treat you like you are leper from a leper colony. I understand everyone has their attraction, but we need to stop acting like average men are ugly. We need to stop pushing the narrative that we all need to go to the gym to be desirable. The Bear Community was suppose to be a place for those who were shunned by the other communities. I was told it was a mindset and so I didn't see it as a look. Now its become a look, you basically have to be a certain weight, have a certain amount of body hair and have a beard. You also need to be butch which I should just point out that I see a lot of guys who fit the look but ain't butch at all so they can't even follow their own rules. I am just tired of being made to feel like I am a freak of nature or invisible for just being myself and being happy with myself. I ain't gonna change myself just to fix someone else narrow desires and I shouldn't have to.

At this point I am just a bearded non-binary person who has no affiliation to any group whether that be Bear or Goth or whatever. I am very tired of trying to fit in with people that clearly don't want me there so I will go where people enjoy my presence even if that group be small.

What does this mean for things like Bears on the Coast? Well clearly I will either want to change the name of the show. I ain't gonna promote to a community that doesn't want me in it. Now I want to be clear, I have had some good people who were Bears who treated me well, however the vast majority either ignored me or acted like I was a disease when I was there and I don't want to be around that kind of energy. Some of you will say "well that never happened to me", well I am not you and I'm happy you never had to experience the shit that I have but your experiences don't negate mine and I don't want to be somewhere I am not wanted.

Even here in Gainesville, the last time I went to a dinner gathering with them, one of them approached me afterward being all friendly to me and then said "well it was nice seeing you, see you in another 5-10 years". Like what the fuck, now I stopped going to the Bear Dinners because I didn't feel welcome, also I have been deal with my sobriety which takes priority over everything else in my life so yes I stopped going because I was deep in my addiction for a few years. But again that has to deal with the fact that I DIDN'T FEEL WELCOME THERE! And with comments like that it justifies why I feel the way that I do. I need to do what feels best for me and considering how fractured the LGBTQIA+ community is becoming lately with all the infighting I just want to be accepted for being myself regardless of how butch I am or how I look.

New Void of Axis in Fall, Bears on the Coast coming soon & Hello Nintendo Switch 2

Hey everyone, sorry its been a minute since I posted on here. Been focused on making new music and taking my time with whatever that becomes. I think I've finally settled on a sound and theme, I honestly think its just easier to write from a place of melancholy then to push myself to write something I am not feeling. So I am returning to a synthpop sound similar to Continue but it will also have hints of industrial there as well. I am kind of trying to find a weird mix between Nine Inch Nails meets Depeche Mode which I believe Void of Axis has always been trying to find that mix between the two. I have thought about taking the music I was working on before this and maybe releasing it as an EP so I may try to do that for October or November. We will see how that pans out.

We have started filming for Bears On The Coast again. Should have a new episode out soon, as I said before we are returning to basics and just filming normal stuff because we don't really travel like we use to. Its just too expensive to do that these days. These days I make content when I feel like it, my focus is doing stuff at my own pace and not force myself in to a place where it causes me distress. I think that is something I've been learning as I am focusing on my sobriety is trying to keep my inner peace and this is the way that I've been doing it.

Me and Jacob picked up a Nintendo Switch 2, we wanted to get one before September 1st when the system will shoot up 50 dollars to 550. So far I am loving it, I hate the Joy Cons though, the baby buttons suck ass. I can't wait to get a Pro Controller. The system came with a choice of 3 games to choose from, we decided to get Donkey Kong Bananza and it reminds me of Super Mario 64 but with Donkey Kong which is not bad. I love Super Mario 64 and wish they made a sequel to that game but nope. I also picked up Metroid Prime Remastered and Star Fox. As I said really enjoying the system so far and I think I will continue to do so. I just didn't enjoy the Wii U or the Switch 1, they felt underpowered and didn't have enough games to hook me. Especially with Sony basically telling its customers to shut up and be happy owning nothing I just wanted to go somewhere else where I can play video games and not be told to shut up and enjoy.

Bears on the Coast returning, Void of Axis music is progressing & Sony goes fully Digital

Bears on the Coast will be returning and we have decided to go back to basics. What this means is instead of the show being about where we go it is now just gonna be whatever we are doing in the moment and trust me we don't really go out these days thanks to everything being crazy expensive. In the meantime we hope you will enjoy a return to me, Michael and Jacob just living our lives and filming whatever is going on in the moment. I honestly feel like we lost the plot of the show when we started Season 2 and it became about topping ourselves and getting more and more crazy and that turned out to be way too much honestly. It was better when it was real and in the moment things that we can look back and remember fondly.

I've been really having a hard time trying to figure out what to do musically. Its like I have a billion ideas in my head but I can't settle on one. I am gonna lay down some rules for myself because right now if I keep working this way nothing will get finished. So I am gonna go back to basics musically and pull from what Void of Axis was originally a mix of which a weird marriage between Depeche Mode and Nine Inch Nails, my two biggest influences. With that in mind I started working on a new track called "Enough is Enough" and so far I am loving the results so maybe now we might finally get some results. I may have mentioned that I wanted to do a cover of "The Figurehead" by the Cure on one of my previous posts, with how expensive it would be I may just release that for free on my Soundcloud because I don't really care about making money from covers also getting the license would be way more expensive then its worth to me so I'll finish that whenever now. I am more interested in getting original music out now anyways so hopefully that gets finished before next year is over. That's the deadline I am giving myself.

Alright lets talk about Sony basically killing its business because some stupid CEO and Shareholders want money now at the expense of the entire brand being thrown in the toilet. PlayStation announced they are ending physical disc sales/production in January 2028 which means the only way you will be able to purchase new games is via the PlayStation Store. This basically kills the used game market, you can't share your games with others, and for people like myself and Jacob who are Collectors it also is a giant middle finger. I understand some people being like "oh well it doesn't effect me", well good for you but not everyone is you and people saying that are stupid selfish fuck faces. Not sorry.

Think beyond your own convenience for five seconds if that's possible because clearly you only care about if its good for you and no one else. Not everyone wants to purchase games at full price, not everyone wants to be stuck to one place to buy their products, and not everyone wants just a fully digital library. I'm glad if that's what you want but again, NOT EVERYONE IS YOU.

Also to be a complete bitch right now, what happens if you lose internet? In some cases you can't play your digital library without an internet connection verifying you own the licenses. Also Sony just took away 550 movies people bought and paid for and didn't issue refunds to anyone. If you honestly believe they won't do that to your games go ahead, get a PS6 and I'll just be sitting here with a bucket of popcorn watching you get fucked by Sony when they pull that shit and I'll I will have to say to you is this: