Skinny Puppy Final Tour in St Pete

Hey everyone, so this past Tuesday I took Jacob to go see Skinny Puppy on their Final Tour. This was the first time he has ever seen them and probably will be the only time he will ever see them since this is gonna be their last tour. This was also the first time I had seen a concert probably since 2015, it had been a very long time. To say I was nervous was an understatement, when we got there I was nervous as hell. I don't do well in social settings because of my general and social anxiety but I do power through it or I would never leave the house at all and I can't just stay locked up inside the house so I push past my own comfort a lot of times so I can get out and do things. We got there and it was a lot of fun, I ended up getting a t-shirt and we found a spot near the stage to stand. Most of the people seems friendly enough so I got comfortable during the show and was moving around more and more and didn't give a fuck about anyone around me. Well Jacob had told me after the show when I leaned in on him that some asshole looked disgusted and tapped his girlfriend to point at us, I am so glad I didn't see this because that would have mentally fucked with me the whole show. I honestly don't get it, most of the Goth community is not homophobic in the slightest, its pretty much anything goes because everyone is already ostracized so everyone lets everyone be themselves. I guess that may not be a thing anymore, which is funny considering that their were straight couples there practically fucking and kissing there and all I did was lean on my boyfriend and hug on him, we didn't even kiss. Also their was a girl there in nothing but fishnets and a thong, no bra so if he can't handle me and my partner being affectionate maybe he shouldn't be there. Maybe he should go to preschool and learn how to deal with people again. Skinny Puppy was amazing live as always, the setlist was good too featuring some of my favorites like:

1. Human Disease
2. Hardset Head
3. Pedafly
4. The Choke
5. Assimilate

It was very well done and I am gonna seriously miss Skinny Puppy releasing new music and touring but I completely understand why they are doing it.

Continue?

 My sixth album "Continue" was released on Friday. I am absolutely floored by the response and amount of people listening to my music. 37 Listeners on Spotify alone may not sound like a lot but hey its something to me. I am really happy to see people resonating with "Perfect" as well as "Love Is A Sickness" which are the two top tracks being listened to the most off of the newest album.

When I started to work on Continue I wasn't sure I could make music anymore or even write or sing, and the thought of working on an album of all original music kind of scared me so I decided to take a bunch of songs I have that I never released and just finish vocals and work on adding to what I already had. The results that came out of that I am very pleased with and it really has helped to boost my confidence in my work. Also when I named the album "Continue" it was a question to myself, do I want to continue to make music? Right now, I want to say yes but I am also building my confidence back up while getting sober so we will see how the future unfolds.

I plan to do a few videos over the course of the year for the album to help promote the album. I am not comfortable performing live, never have been with my social and general anxiety however I would like to confront those fears one day. But until then I may work on doing a live stream performance down the road. In the meantime, I will also be working on re-releasing Kaleidoscope for the 10th Anniversary which is this year. I have talked to a couple of people already who want to do remixes for the album. I also need to get a few songs done but I have time to think about that.

This week has been hard, been having panic attacks happening to me almost every other hour and felt like I was going crazy. I guess thats just part of getting sober from Meth. Glad to be off of that shit, doesn't mean I don't crave it sometimes but I at least feel like I am at a point where I can say no now which is great. Keeping myself distracted is really helping so I am gonna probably continue to do that. Staying productive.