Friday, November 26, 2010

RIP Peter Christopherson...


Peter Christopherson, one of the pioneers of industrial music died "peacefully" in his sleep November 24th, 2010 in his home in Bangkok at the age of 55. He is one of the founding members of Throbbing Gristle, Coil, and Psychic TV. He has also worked solo under "The Threshold HouseBoys Choir." The news officially came from a tweet from Throbbing Gristle bandmates Cosey Fanni Tutti and Chris Carter saying "Our dearest beautiful Sleazy left this mortal coil as he slept in peace last night. words cannot express our grief." Other artist such as Nine Inch Nails, Trent Reznor also tweeted saying "I awake to sad news. RIP Peter Christopherson - friend and huge inspiration."


Thursday, November 25, 2010

Covenant Announces Modern Ruin...


Covenant will be releasing their seventh LP titled "Modern Ruin" on January 14th, 2011 in Germany, January 17th, 2011 in Europe, and Febuary 8th, 2011 in North America. The record will feature 11 tracks and come in a regular edition and a limited edition. The limited edition will come with a bonus disc featuring the track "Wir Sind Die Nacht" which is playing in a german film of the same name out right now. The lead single from the album is "Lightbringer".

CD 1 (Modern Ruin)

Track 1: Modern Ruin
Track 2: Lightbringer
Track 3: Judge Of My Domain
Track 4: Dynamo Clock
Track 5: Kairos
Track 6: The Beauty And The Grace
Track 7: Get On
Track 8: Worlds Collide
Track 9: In The Night
Track 10: Beat The Noise
Track 11: The Road
CD 2 (Bonus Disc)

Track 1: Wir Sind Die Nacht
Track 2: Wir Sind Die Nacht (Oscar Holter Remix)
Track 3: Wir Sind Die Nacht (Full Instrumental)
Track 4: Wir Sind Die Nacht (Henrik Baeckstroem Remix)
Track 5: Wir Sind Die Nacht (Sample)
Track 6: Ich War Nichts (Sample)
Track 7: Wunder (Sample)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Goodbye Michigan, Hello Florida...

On December 9th I will be moving from Allegan, Michigan to Gainesville, Florida. I'm not really up to discuss the reasons behind the move, but I will say that I think Adam and I expected different things and we would like to still remain good friends, plus the job market here is just terrible and its a problem that I can't get around here. So i'll be moving in with a good friend of mine named Michael. So far he understands my situation and not only will let me stay with him but wants to help me as well. Hopefully this time around i'll get some results. I enjoyed the time I spent in Michigan, I met a lot of very good people that I hope to continue to talk to. I've had my ups and downs here but overall it was not bad here, just an experience i'm glad I had.

Monday, November 15, 2010

The Search For Independence & Depression...

As everyone knows i'm just having trouble finding work here and I don't have a means of travel right now. I recently told Adam that if something else came along with a better opportunity that it would be best for me to try it and he agrees and supports me. I have a friend in Florida named Michael who has offered for me to come stay with him and find work there. I have been considering it but nothing is final yet, and i'm currently just trying to see how it is over there. I changed my Bear411 to Florida and suddenly i'm getting mail from everyone in Michigan freaking out and wanting to know all of my business for leaving Michigan and why I can't get work here. It is very simple, I can't find any work here because the economy sucks, and also because I lived in New York City and never took the time to learn how to drive, I have no way to get around. So there you have it! I've been doing my best to find something local and it seems their is really nothing. The only thing I could find local which I will find out about tomorrow is Perrigo from Manpower. That really is my last choice at this point, and if I can't make that work then i'll be forced to try other options. I'm sorry if this upsets my friends here in Michigan but they need to understand. I'm at a point in my life where i'm trying to find the person I have to be and I need to become more independant. I really wished and hoped that I could have done that here but so far it seems nothing has come along my way and i've been working hard. I really thank Adam for being very caring and supportive for the time i've been here. He knows its been hard for me and understands my situation, he also wants to see me become a more independant and stable person and we both see that I might have to find another option.

Since I can feel my depression has been around, its really made things that were already stressful in to something more personal. I'm just taking my time and trying to do the best I can and thats all I can do at this point. Thats all I can do.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Goodbye N64, Paranormal Activity 2, Goldeneye 007 for Wii...

Today was a pretty interesting day, sold my N64 games and system. Ended up getting 60 bucks in store credit at Play N Trade. So I got Adam a second controller for the Wii, and I also picked up a used copy of Super Smash Bros Brawl which was broken when I got home. So tomorrow me and Adam will be going to return the game. We tried to get Wii Sports Resort which comes with an extra controller anyways but they were out of it. I also wanted to get Zelda: Twilight Princess but they didn't have it.



After we did this, we stopped by our friend, Lee's house. We discussed what to do with the evening and eventually decided to go see Paranormal Activity 2. I posted in an earlier blog entry that the idea of a sequel for the film was bad. I don't feel that way now and I should have been more open minded. This film was everything and more, it was shot in the same way the first film was the it was done with minimal effects which I thought was great. The movie was just generally creepy and now I can't sleep so its done an awesome job. What got me freaked out was when the wife was being dragged out of Hunter's room and she was holding the staircase and he body was just floating in the air. It just creeps me out being dragged by something you can't see in to a dark basement. I'd really like to see if they can do a third film, if it is at all possible. And I recommend this film to anyone who was a fan of the first film.




Adam bought me a copy of Goldeneye 007 for the Wii. The game is really just fantastic and beautiful. One of the most beautiful experiences on the Wii in my opinion. The game is a reimaging of the original Goldeneye 007 for the N64 and also a reimaging of the film as well. The game portrays the current James Bond, Daniel Craig and an entirely new cast. It still follows the story of the film very closely but is done in a way that would make sense to the world today. The game also plays very well, the controls take some getting used to but after a while it feels natural. The music is fantastic, thanks to current Bond composer, David Arnold. My only complaints with the game is three things, first of all, I played the game on Easy and towards the later levels of the game that it got much harder to the point where I wanted to throw the controller at the screen. This scares me to even attempt to play on harder difficulties. Second, on the Cradle level where you have to defend Natalya who is attempting to stop the Goldeneye 007. In the original game you did the same but it was NEVER on the level of difficulty it was in this game. How do you stop almost ten guards shooting at her and you? I died almost like twenty times trying to defend her. The guards are really powerful and shouldn't be. Not on easy mode. And third, the fight sequence between you and Trevalan was ridiculous and annoyed the hell out of me. First it starts off simple with just you and Trevalan fighting in a room, then suddenly guards that respawn from different doors and the windows jump in the fight. As if that wasn't annoying enough, you have to deal with a Helicopter as well that is defending Trevalan. The fight sequence was the most annoying and non-enjoyable part of the game and thats sad considering its the highlight of the experience. Even with those bad things, the rest of the game makes up for the bad parts and it feels great. The multiplayer is as addictive as the original game and the best part is having multiplayer compatibility. I recommend the game for fans of the original or James Bond or action fans in general. This game is a must in the Wii library.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Void Of Axis Enters Hiatus


As of today, my music project "Void Of Axis" will be going on hiatus for a little while. At this moment in time, their are a lot of things I need to do and I need to completely put my music aside so I can get these things done. Music is still a huge part of my life and I would never give up making my own music. As of right now, this hiatus should not effect the release of Forest Of Memories in 2011. In any case, I will keep everyone up to date on the status of Void Of Axis. Purgatory will still be availble for download as well, I thank everyone who enjoys my music and thank you for supporting me. Hope to see you all again soon.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Jay Gordon Owns Orgy, Manpower Jacked, Selling Nintendo 64...


Today is a very sad day for Orgy fans. And I mean the music group, not the act. Last night Amir Derakh on the Julien-K forums announced:




As of Oct. 26th Jay Gordon will be leaving the original band Orgy. We don’t know what this means for the future of Orgy, but we are assuming that Jay intends to release new music under the name Orgy. We don’t know if Jay has a new band waiting in the wings to replace us, or if he plans on doing it all on his own - but we do know that Jay is a talented writer, and we are sure that he will come up with something great. Over the last few years we have tried to get the band together and tour or write new music - even though we are juggling multiple businesses as well as 3 original music projects (Julien-K, Dead By Sunrise, and Circuit Freq), we have always been willing to make time for Orgy. It saddens us that Jay is choosing to carry on the Orgy name without his brothers that helped build and create that name, but we truly wish him all the best. Thank you all for your continued support on the many projects that we are all involved in, and for being our friends, family, and fans over the years. Sincerely, Ryan, Amir, Bobby, and Paige.




In response to this Jay Gordon posted this on his Facebook page:




Ok, First of all this has NOT been about breaking up the original band ORGY. I owned the name ORGY and licensed it to the band at the beginning. Although Ryan, Amir, and I had been talking about ORGY touring this summer (which now has come and gone), It didn't feel to me that was going to happen. Julien-K had decided to go on tour to Europe instead. Now that everyone is working on different Projects (some have SEVERAL). I needed to be able to move forward to revive the ORGY brand. In order to make that happen, for legal reason’s, I had to send them a letter to inform them that as of October 26, 2010 the partnership would be terminated. In the letter I stated that if we were to tour, that everyone would still be paid equally, with no changes. So honestly, I can't see how they would arrive at what they wrote? Everyone has been so busy with their different projects I figured this was the only way for me to continue on with the name. I started this band, and I don't want to let it fall to the wayside completely. They mentioned being my brothers, so I am a little confused on why they did not call me about the situation before putting out a press release, implying things based on speculation, that simply aren't true. Sincerely, Jay Gordon (Orgy)




Based on both responses it sounds like their is some miscommunication issues between the members of Orgy and maybe even some issues of what is important to them. From my own personal stand point, it looks like Jay is tired of waiting for the other members to finish their side projects and decided to just take control and move forward with the project rather then waiting. I'm not sure I will be able to listen to the new Orgy, whatever it may be because it won't feature the original members, just Jay Gordon. But only time will tell.

So, now i'm gonna touch on the last few days. I signed up with a job agency called Manpower. They are located right here in Allegan, and at first they seemed very nice and really eager to help me. They gave me an appointment, I came in for it and sat down with this lady that was very quick and seemed to want to rush the whole interview. Instead of giving the regular Perrigo job, she instead refered me to a lady that they work with so I could get a Data Entry position within Perrigo. The problem is after I sent this lady my resume through e-mail, she mailed me back saying they had no positions open but would keep my record on file. So I called Manpower the next day to get an appointment with them. They made it sound like they held their part of the deal. Unfortunately the deal is to get me a job, not have me sit around until someone dies or gets fired from the job. So now I have a interview with them in two week, that should be good I hope.


Later today, i'll be going to Play N Trade to sell my Nintendo 64 along with all of its games. This truly makes me sad, I love all the games I have, those titles include:



  • Goldeneye 007

  • Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time

  • Banjo-Kazooie

  • Star Wars Episode 1 Racer

  • Mario Kart

  • Super Mario 64

  • Diddy Kong Racing

  • Perfect Dark

  • Turok The Dinosaur Hunter

  • South Park 64

  • Star Fox 64

  • F-Zero X

  • Conker's Bad Fur Day

  • Quest 64

  • Doom 64

So as you can see I have quite a collection of games and I hate the fact that i'm losing them but hopefully I can get some good amount of money out of it. I am telling myself I can always rebuy it when the time comes but i'm still very attached to it. This is the gamer in me.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Purgatory Out Now!!!

Purgatory, my new record is out now, is availble for download on Soundcloud now. The link to it is below, please download it. I really appreciate all the support you can give. I hope you like it. Also people have told me its hard to find the download button, but its located next to each of the tracks. Its an arrow point down. Thanks again everyone!

http://soundcloud.com/voa/sets/purgatory

Homeless+LGBT+Shelter=Change?


Are you Homeless? Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender? Living in New York? What are your options? Will you get help? And the most important question, do you want to help yourself? I'm here to help you answer the question. I've lived in many homeless shelters, but I will be focusing on only two, those being, Sylvia's Place & Ali Forney Center. Lets start with Sylvia's Place.

Sylvia's Place was my first shelter and the one I've been to the most. Sylvia's Place is a emergency shelter meaning it is not a place for long term. It is merely a place to sleep if you have no other place to go. It is located underneath and run by MCC (Metropolitian Community Churches). In the advertisement they state:

Sylvia's Place is an emergency overnight shelter for LGBTQ youth (under 24). We are open 365 days/year from 8pm-8am. Curfew is at 12am. We provide hot meals (dinner and breakfast); clothing; showers; case management; physical and mental health medical services; and court advocacy. Drop-in services at Sylvia's Place are 6-10:30pm, Monday/Tuesday and Thursday/Friday.

From my experience the time they open varies, it depends on when the staff working that night decides to come in. This means you could be waiting from anywhere between 8pm to 10pm. Some times the staff will give you a heads up on this or sometimes they won't give you any notice. Curfew and lights out is at 12am, the beds should be made and light should be out by then. They show a picture of the youth sleeping on Cots but a majority of the time that I was there the Cots were mostly broken so we instead slept on the floor either in sleeping bags or on top of them with sheets and pillows that were shared by everyone in the shelter. They do provide meals but they don't cook them, most of the time you will have to make your own food. Unless its a holiday or special occasion, in which the staff will cook, you will more than likely be making most of your own meals. They sometimes have clothing donated to them. They have one shower which you must sign up for at night and only ten spots are open so not everyone can shower everyday. The case management from what I remember is by sitting down with someone who goes over the time you have spent there and what you are doing to change it so you can leave with a more stable life. They also have house meetings where they do this as well with everyone living there present. During the house meetings they discuss how you are doing and how you can changing and better yourself. They also take requests from the residents to find out what they can do to better help them to live there more comfortably. They also on certain days of the week they have a Med Van that comes by to help anyone who has any medical problems or questions. Sometimes even if you don't have insurance they will also help you as well. And they do as well have Court Advocacy which I have not personally used but I know people who have used it and who found it very helpful. Also during the mornings, before everyone leaves, you and everyone living there is required to take part on chores. The chores are made by the staff and if you do not take part in the chores, you possibly told to move out. While I was there, they also had two places called Sylvia's East and Sylvia's North which were for people who are selected for their good behavior and how well they are doing at getting themselves together. The places are typically nicer, have better food, and even have Cots for you to sleep on. But from what I last heard they had to close them both down because of lack of funding. Overall, Sylvia's Place is not a bad place, its not an ideal place to live but until you or them can get something together it is your best choice. If you'd like more information on Sylvia's Place please visit their website which I have linked below:




Ali Forney Center is much bigger than most of the other shelters programs in New York City and is funded by many LGBT and LGBT friendly people. It not only has Emegency Housing but they also have a Day Center as well as Transitional Housing. In order to sign up for any of there programs you must go to their Day Center located in Chelsea. They do have an extensive waiting list unfortunately which can lead to you waiting from anywhere as soon as just a couple of days to months depending on how many people are trying to get in. You don't need to be part of their Housing Program in order to go and use their services though. They offer at their Day Center:


  • Street Outreach

  • Case Management

  • Primary Medical Treatment

  • HIV Testing

  • Mental Health Assessment & Treatment

  • Food & Showers

  • Employment Assistance Program

In their Emergency Housing Program, they have 5 separate locations. This amounts to at least 30 beds. They are usually regular apartments and are very nice and clean. You also have your own bed and closet to put your clothing in. While I was there I resided in Taffy Place located in Brooklyn. It was a nice apartment in a not so nice part of Brooklyn but at least it was a place to stay. Most of the staff was really nice with the exception of my case manager. My case manager would see me, and during the time I was dating someone who was taking me to Human Resources to get my benefits approved as well as getting some Mental Health Services. I told her most of this and I assumed she just marked it down that I was getting help. But instead she was marking that I refused help from them and assumed that I was doing nothing to help myself which is not that case. This lead me ultimately to having to move back to Sylvia's Place because my time expired there. Hopefully the case worker doesn't work there anymore, and if she does I hope that she tries more to help people and instead of assuming things she could gather the information through paperwork that the person should be getting from wherever they have been.

Just like Sylvia's they have chores that you must complete everyday before you leave. When I was there we had to leave at 8am or 10am every morning and couldn't be back till at least 8pm. Although more recently, they had the house open all day. I am not sure if they still do this today. It should also be stated that house meetings occur as well and you are required to be there unless you have work or an appointment which you must notify the staff of before hand. I was not in their TLP (Transitional Living Program) but I know people who have been in them. Its pretty much the same set up as the Emergency Housing Program except that you pay rent now until they can help you find an apartment of your own.

In the end, Ali Forney Center is a pretty good program to get in if you are homeless. The people are generally really trying to help you and push you to take advantage of those benefits. The only down side is the long waiting list to get in and for some people with no where to go this can be disheartening. Also, they should put more care in to people who live in their program and might be doing some of the work to get better on their own. They should instead of being put off by then not taking advantage of their own service, they should help, and make sure the person living there is actually doing what they say they are. If you would like more information on Ali Forney Center please visit their website which I have linked below:


http://www.aliforneycenter.org/


I am sure their are other services as well in New York but these are the two LGBT programs I was involved with. But I will say that if you are homeless and have no where to go to please try these programs. And now I'm going to put some of my own person hopes and wishes that I think could help LGBT Homeless Youth. I remember when I first became homeless and I left all I knew to go to New York City, a place where I was taught to be scared of as a child. The first day I got there I went to Sylvia's Place and was emotionally compromised to say the least. I urge and strongly must say this to anyone who works in the field of helping homeless youth. You must do this because you want to help these people. This is not a job for people who just need money. These kids are coming from a place where they feel they have lost everything and now must start over. It is your job to help them feel wanted and needed. I remember during the days I was homeless, I felt like my life was meaningless and being angry at everyone. It is hard to try and help someone who says they don't want help, but to be honest, you should help them regardless. I didn't want help when I became homeless and its because I didn't trust anyone and was just angry. When I was asked if I need help I instead of taking it just refused it. Long story short, I just feel that the kids need more help even if they don't request it. As someone who went through it, I feel on a certain level I can relate to them and understand what they are going through. If I had the chance I would work with homeless youth to help them feel they are important and wanted. I would treat everyone equally and not put anyone down for being more or less able to help themselves. A big problem is that in New York State funding is quite low for plans to help Homeless people, most of the money has to be made through fundraisers or donations. I believe as how much of an epidemic this is that we need more funding and more places for these kids to stay and its not going to get any better with the rise of cost of living in NYC. I think its very important to have programs to help these kids get benefits until they can get proper work, many kids are suffering because they have no Medical Insurance, Food Stamps, or Public Assistance. And its hard to get these things with people who work at HRA who don't even care about helping you. Most of the people who worked with me there were rude, gave me a hard time about serious issues which to them was joke, and don't seem to want to help anyone. People like this shouldn't be working in that position and more than likely have the position only to make money.

Right now I am living in Michigan because I myself did not want to go through the trials and trauma I had experienced when I was homeless. A majority of the time these kids spend is out in the world which for me was New York City and from someone who didn't have much money or food, it was not a very great place. Some of these kids who aren't able to find work, myself include, had to sell themselves using sexual favors. It is not only morally degrading, but it is extremely unsafe for them. The Gay Community in generally is known for advertising a majority of things with Sex. I think this is a huge problem and not only pushes kids within the shelter system to sell themselves sexually but to be extremely promiscuous which can cause them to be careless and put in contact with various STD's. I also had my stuff stolen (including clothing, CD's, bank card) by residents in the shelter system. I think what we are doing now to prevent these problems is a good starting place. But I feel that it must expand and grow, it is a serious issue that not many people notice or want to notice because they can't understand what its like. Just because you can't understand what its like doesn't mean you can't accept it and tolerate it. This is what Gay people expect of Straight people, so why can't we expect this from "normal" people who don't understand homeless youth?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Void Of Axis Presents Purgatory, Halloween Sucks, Manpower...


Hey everyone, my first announcement, my solo music project "Void Of Axis" will be releasing the full length album "Purgatory" on Wednesday. The album contains 13 tracks including the current single "Psychosis" and also more importantly, the whole album is free. Purgatory came about when I had a collection of songs that were just lying around, they pretty much were finished except for the lyrics. I decided to make the entire album an instrumental record. I believe it works as just an album of music rather than actual songs with music and vocals. Its just a collection of songs running on a storyline i've created. The storyline for the record is a town being engulfed in to a realm of darkness and the people who come in contact with this darkness either fighting it or giving in. In the future, whether I decide to write lyrics for any of the songs is completely open, but for now, treat the record as a soundtrack to a film but without the visuals. Let you mind create the visuals through the music. The album cover was designed by Eric Peterson who has already worked on the Psychosis cover and the Void Of Axis logo. The idea was a vortex with my face coming out of the vortex in flames. I think its a great cover and I thank Eric for creating it for me. Now the track listing for the record is as follows:

1. Point Of No Return
2. Within The Trees
3. Bleed
4. Where Is Everybody?
5. Psychosis
6. Bury Me
7. Possession
8. Black Moon
9. Fear
10. Shadow Of The Reaper
11. The End Is The Beginning
12. End Of Days
13. Purgatory

Now on to other things, this past weekend was Halloween. I was invited a few weeks or a month ago by Adam's friend Scott to a party at his place. I remember accepting the request and then like a week or so before the event I saw nothing on the event anywhere. So I looked for it to see why it wasn't showing up in my feed anymore. I came to find I was no longer on the list of people invited, I told Adam who still went so I decided to should try to make other plans. I made plans with a friend who was suppose to come a pick me up and take me out for the weekend so I could get away and just relax. I waited all day and night and never got anything back so pretty much the whole weekend I was stuck home. Their was very little food left in the house so my friend Christopher came over and helped me get some food and also hungout with me to help me relax. It was a pretty shitty Halloween, but at this point i'm glad to at least know who my true friends are. I may not have had the best time but I did what I had to and just rested the whole weekend. And I gave myself very good hopes for the week ahead. I'm glad I did too.

Today, I went to a job agency called Manpower. I filled out an application and such and now I have an appointment on Wednesday to see what jobs are availible. The only job they have local to where I live is Perrigo. I just need a job so I really don't care what I get, I just need anything at this point. I am hoping if I start working to start saving some money and getting stuff done that I wasn't able to do in New York. So hopefully this week will be much better than my Halloween was.