So lets start with the period of June to August of June 2010, at that time I was living in the Bronx with my ex fiance Michael L. Little did I know that Fountain House was harassing him telling him that he couldn't have me living there with him and basically pushed him to kick me out threatening some action that they couldn't actually take because Michael owns his apartment, not Fountain Hoe. I found this out years later of course from Michael when we talked about it, he apologized to me for forcing me out. I really could have done without the 5 months of hell I endured up in Michigan but yet if I didn't end up there maybe I wouldn't have ended up with my current roommate Michael V. I think he regrets the decision honestly and I forgive him for that, I blame Fountain House more, they are suppose to be a supportive Mental Health Club House that is suppose to HELP YOU! Shoving people in to Homelessness is not HELPFUL so seriously fuck that place and everyone that works there. The people who work there are fake as fuck anyways and treat everyone there like we are all low functioning which is so rude anyways. Me and Michael L are in a better place now I believe, we have worked through our issues and I am happy to still have him in my life. Alright, lets talk about the sociopath I lived with in Michigan named Adam.
When I moved in with Adam I honestly thought he wanted to help me but it felt like when I got there he just wanted me either for sex or a relationship. After a week of living there he kind of started to get distant with me and told me he just wanted to be friends so I took that as "okay if I want to see other guys I can". Well I must of been wrong because all that did was make him even more distance and cold to me, resulting in him moving in to the unfinished attic to sleep in an exposed mattress. Eventually he completely stopped coming back to the house after work which wouldn't have been so bad if I had a way to get around, I had no way to get food for myself and we were just getting in to the winter months so it was cold as hell. One morning I woke up and found he child proofed the heater so I couldn't turn it on at all so I had to sit around the house for days with no food in 30 degree weather inside the house. Over those months I was finding that he was going around talking shit about me to people he had introduced me to, eventually no one wanted to talk to me in Michigan because of him. Honestly I wish he just would have told me to find another place to live instead then I wouldn't have wasted 5 months there. Maybe I would have moved in with Michael V sooner or straight from New York instead. Would have honestly been better in the long run. What do you expect from someone who's favorite song is "Only Happy When It Rains", says a lot doesn't it?
Okay so lets talk about the fucked up situation that was the Weekend From Hell from my 23rd Birthday, specifically Chris and Bruno. I believe I met Chris on Facebook and they wanted to meet me for my birthday which was fine. Chris and Bruno made it clear to me during the dinner and spending time with them that they wanted me to join their relationship and date them which I was down for however after the dinner they told me something they expected me to do which in hindsight now is extremely fucked up. Basically they wanted me to become HIV Positive for them which at that time I was not HIV Positive, they claimed it was so they could "become closer to me". Maybe they were in to gift giving and I am not a bug chaser so not sure if thats what they wanted. Don't care and besides that when we were driving I remember some kind of a melt down going down between Chris and Bruno which resulted with one of them leaving the car and walking away from the car and us sitting there for a good 10-15 minutes. I also remember somehow that fight turned in to blaming me for everything that happened so yea no idea what happened. I became the scapegoat for that bullshit which is probably good because had I gone through with that I would have given up my health for two guys who didn't deserve it. When I mentioned in that post "I don't want to disclose any personal information but i'll just say I had a pretty screwed up evening and i'm still trying to figure out what happened." this is what I meant so I hope that clarifies things.
Why am I addressing this shit now? Well its been a while and I haven't read my blog in years since I stopped posting on here and I can see I was just trying to keep the peace while not actually addressing shit because god forbid they read what I write. I honestly don't care now if they read this or not, I am using this as a growing experience for myself to look back, process this trauma and move forward. I actually feel lighter now having let this shit go, I may do this again if I read more shit in the blog that I never addressed or lightly addressed. I want to be at peace myself, especially now that I am sober and in this world that is so cruel and horrible right now we have to do what is best for ourselves and our peace. Keep your peace and protect it.
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