Nothing Can Stop Me Now (Because I Don't Care Anymore)

I am so fucking done right now. A few things are going to change going forward because honestly I don't give a fuck anymore, I really don't care anymore. I'm done putting my time and effort in to things that give me nothing in return and its sad because I thought I was good at a lot of these things but clearly I'm not because no one cares, which is fine because now I don't care either. So whats the point of wasting my time if I am basically invisible to everyone around me and everything I try to do doesn't matter? Let me explain:

First off, I hate Facebook.

I created another account maybe a year ago just to stay in touch with friends because a lot of people still use it and that is their primary way of keeping in touch with people. I understand the convenience of it, I do but that doesn't take away from the fact that the website itself is completely covered in shit.

Literally half the ads I see are scams, the news that is reported isn't even real and is usually just trying to make people angry. 9 out of 10 posts I see on my feed are just people trying to get other people angry and I just can't be angry 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Maybe some people can live in a diet of anger and bitterness but I can't. Its just not healthy. Also the joke is on the people on the platform who act like Facebook will be around forever and their "memories" won't disappear. NOTHING IS FOREVER. So when AI becomes sentient and takes over the internet and you can't access Facebook anymore what are you gonna do then? I guess die then because you clearly can't function without your fix, from one addict to another, it takes one to know one and well that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Going forward I will only keep my Messanger active so people can reach me but I won't be posting anymore on Facebook because fuck Zuckerberg and his shitty platform. If people don't want to talk to me outside of Facebook then I guess we weren't friends to begin with and that's fine. FUCK THEM.

Second, I will either be quitting Twitch or seriously changing how I stream moving forward.

When I stream I literally get no one watching, it happens maybe once in a blue moon. Jacob created a channel a few months ago, has an audience who consistently come to watch him and I struggle to get one person to even watch me so I guess I must be hideous or not fun to watch. Either way if that's the case then why the fuck am I streaming in the first place?

I originally chose to stream because I wanted to capture me playing video games and upload them to my YouTube channel so I can look back on those games and remember fondly those memories. I still kind of want to do that but maybe it would be better if I streamed it from YouTube so its directly on that platform so I don't have to move it. The other idea I have is if I do decide to stream on Twitch since no one is watching just turning off chat and any notifications because most of the people who do comment are bots and its very distracting when they are trying to sell me "artwork" or telling me to go to a website to get views. I want to focus on the game and not their stupid asses.

Third, I am pretty much done with making videos on YouTube. I will only really upload videos of my streams if I choose to continue that. If not then my channel will lie dormant at this point, same problem with Twitch, I used to work really hard on videos. I took 3 months doing my Resident Evil Highlights video and no one watched it, I don't care to put in so much effort and care in to something for no one to care about it. Yes I care about it or at least I used to. I don't anymore.

So what will I be doing at this point? The only thing I want to keep my focus on that I still care about at this point is my music. My music has always been a form of therapy for me so I find it very therapeutic to me so I'd like to keep doing it and I don't care if anyone listens to it. I am making it for me and no one else at this point. Because of this my current plan is to channel how I am feeling in to the ultimate "fuck you" album. I need to get this shit out of me I finally feel like I have a vision for the album and the songs I had for the EP fit with this so gonna convert them musically for the new project.

I also plan to keep Blogging because I have been enjoying getting back in to Blogging. It allows me to talk about what's going on in my life since right now I can't afford to see a therapist. I know no one reads this which is fine with me and even if people did read my blog I still want to be honest and truthful about my life and how I feel. I can't bottle up that shit even if I tried, my sister does that and she just blows up when it gets too much to bear. I can't do that.

I don't want to be angry, I just want peace of mind in my life and right now that is very hard. That's why I am gonna mainly stick to Bluesky, Music and Blogging. As I said people can't reach me via my phone if they have it or Messanger. Just gonna delete Facebook from my phone, I don't need access to that slop.

I want to leave with this, you need to do what is best for you and sometimes that is destroying everything that brings you down and only focusing on the things that bring you joy. That is what I am doing, I am restructuring my life now to fit with my values and the time I want to put in to things. Don't listen to what others want you to do, feel what it is in your heart that feels best for you and go with that. Always choose yourself and your peace of mind.